yours truly...

Dear Sarah,

           

I noticed you woke up happy today!  You put on a smile even though your daughter woke up right as you were about to join some friends for a healthy morning run.  You put in an extra effort to make yourself look pretty under a time constraint and you even made a sandwich for your husband before he ran out the door this morning.

However, I just couldn't let you have a good day today.  I made sure your daughter had a mess at the doctor today requiring you to maneuver a stroller through a very small public restroom.  I then had you wait for 35 minutes while the doctor wasted your time chit-chatting with nurses.  I know you hate this doctor, she really gets under your skin, but this was your last time seeing her, and I just couldn't let one more opportunity to frustrate you slip through my fingers.  She told you your baby was healthy and growing just fine, but followed all the booty-kissing with a list of things that might be wrong with your baby.  She always does this, but this list made you particularly alarmed and then annoyed.  The list included an x-ray for Madeline's hips even though you already paid $500 for an ultra sound to look at the exact same thing two months ago, which reported everything to be fine. It also included a heart murmur that "isn't anything to worry about but needs to be checked for the next 18 years of her life" and "an ear infection that isn't an ear infection yet but probably will be soon so we'd like you to come in every month til it goes away. OH and side note it may permanently affect her hearing.  But hey other than that stuff your baby looks great! Have a nice day!" 

You finally made it out of the doctor's office with just enough time to make it on time to your class.  Oh wait! You now have a hungry baby.  Better feed her before class.  Can't believe you appointment went an hour over! (Didn't see that one coming muah ha ha) So you fed her and gave her to Jeremy and made your way to class.  You only missed twenty minutes but it was still awkward coming in late.  Today was critique day so the class took turns critiquing each other's work.  You made a couple comments that were shut down, and it was just a little more than you could handle today, wasn't it.  Finally class got out and you found your husband and baby and the granola bar in the diaper bag, because you haven't had anything to eat yet today.  You thought your day couldn't get any worse.  Then you found out your husband had to stay on campus the rest of the day for a group project, then to take a test, and then he has to work tonight.  All you wanted was to come home with him and let him hold you and pig out on a huge thing of ice cream.  But that's not gonna happen.  You probably won't see him til tomorrow morning.  And you and your mom have given up eating sweets.  Plus let's be real, even if you could have ice cream you don't have any and you really can't afford to buy luxuries like ice cream right now.  

So you kissed your husband good bye and started for the door to walk home.  And guess what? It rained/hailed the whole way home.  Good thing the stroller has a cover over it.  But you were cold and wet.  Then the sun came out as soon as you got home.  I'm really good at sabotaging your day, aren't I.  Well I think that about sums it up.  I'd advise you not to make diner tonight because it might unexplainably burn... 

yours truly,

trying to ensure you have the worst day possible

to those husbands who think we are beautiful no matter what

I was overwhelmed by all the love and support I received Monday after this post.  I must admit that I wasn’t posting it to get anyone’s attention or have a bunch of people boost my self-esteem. I was simply trying to write it all out and get my feelings off my chest and into the open.  {I even considered turning comments off for a couple days, but I often times mess everything up when I try to change things on the blog – so I passed on that}  But thank you thank you to all of you who commented, called, texted, facebooked, emailed, or simply said something in passing.  It meant a lot.  You made me feel like I have a purpose.  And I’m very excited by how natural it felt to lay it all out on the table.  {This book people – I’m telling ya!  Okay, I should probably finish the book before I recommend it, but I’m loving it so far}. 

For a long time I’ve wanted to have a widely popular blog that was fun and quirky and fashionable and just posted fun happy things all the time. But the other day I realized I don’t have to make my life seem perfect on the blog.  Now before you exit out and stop following me, let me say that I have no intention of making this my venting place. I don’t want to only post about my hard days and make everybody else’s life doomy-gloomy.  I hope to simply speak the truth.  Including the hard days and the wonderful days, and hopefully it’ll mostly be happy.  Alrighty, enough un-structured rambling thoughts and on to the slightly structured stuff.

The funny thing about self-worth is you can’t get it from anybody else.  You have to learn and decide for yourself that you are beautiful and that your life and purpose is beautiful.  I hate to think of the way Jeremy has yearned to be able to help me. {he does help me A LOT! But I felt like I had gotten to the point where I really needed to stand on my own two feet and figure it out on my own.  Just me and the Lord}.  He tells me I’m beautiful.  That he loves me.  He cares for me.  And I know he does.  But if I don’t believe those things then it is sometimes hard to hear.  I’m sure I’m not alone on this one.  Scenario: Your husband gets home from work/school, you haven’t showered and if you have make-up on it’s minimal. Your hair is either rocking a pony tail or just straight up crazy.  The baby is crying, dishes haven’t been done, toys everywhere and your t-shirt and baggy jeans are anything but sexy.  So this handsome, clean, hunk of wonderful husband of yours encircles you in his arms and says, “[insert your name here] Sarah, you are beautiful.”  And you just about fall apart because you feel anything but beautiful.   Not to mention, the other day when you did shower and applied some mascara, maybe fixed your hair and put your nicest outfit on, subconsciously {or consciously}, hoping for a compliment and a, “Who is this woman and what happened to my wife?!” {not really but ya know}, not a word was mentioned about the extra effort put into personal hygiene and appearance.  Why do we let that bug us?  Why can’t we be happy and accept that our husbands, these wonderful men who bought a diamond and asked us to spend eternity with them, really do think we’re beautiful? Baggy jeans and all. Maybe I’m the only one out there that feels this way.  But I am doing better.  And it feels good.  

So apparently I’ve turned into a longer-post writer… hope that’s ok.  If it’s not, you probably took off a while ago and are no longer reading.  I had some other thoughts to share but I think I’ll just save them for another day.  Just to lighten the mood I thought you’d all enjoy this SNL clip.

Happy Wednesday everybody! We’re going to be enjoying a 

beautiful sixty-degree sun-shiney day!

the ups and the downs

When I was growing up during dinner we would almost always go around the table and share with the family the 'ups' and 'downs' of our day.  You had to have at least two ups for every one down (you know...  to keep things optimistic).  I thought instead of doing my awkwards and awesomes I'd share my ups and downs.  So here we go!

The Downs {so we end on a happy note}:

My doctor basically told me that I can expect to have Madeline late - because I was late.  But that he wouldn't let me go longer than a week.  This might be a December baby after all... alas... December is good too. Not November, but it works ha

Some how we kind of skipped over fall - its snowing on the mountains... bummer, right?

{Not that I'm not excited for winter - but I was really looking forward to fall!}

I just used my last packet of Apple Cider... Cue trip to the store.

I wanted to make banana bread - but they only had GREEN bananas.  So I have to wait for them to cross the entire banana spectrum of ripening to make banana bread.  *muttering* "patience is a virtue... patience is a virtue..."

The Ups

That last cup of apple cider was soooo good!

Its finally cold outside! I love the crisp magical feeling of fall in the air. Its so wonderful!

Husband let me go shopping yesterday :) Just for two cheap shirts that actually fit over my belly.

{We were virtually down to 3 shirts - makes for a rather monotonous wardrobe... Now we're up to 5 shirts haha only 2 more months!}

We had chocolate-chip waffles with cinnamon and hot chocolate for breakfast this morning!

...yes I realize that makes me appear to be a 5 year old.... whatever.

Next week marks the half way point for this semester! say wahhh? Where does the time go? 

I literally can't believe it ha

My husband is a-mazing.  I've been wearing flip flops for the past several months (they're easy to get on and my swollen feet can still fit in them) BUT seeing as its 39 degrees and rainy/snowy outside I figured closed toe shoes would be better. I, however, couldn't get them on myself so my a-mazing husband did it for me :) What a great guy!

I have successfully memorized 100 terms for my test tonight and only have like 50ish to go... ha

I only need one more up and uh... yay! 

{I realize that last one probably doesn't count... oh well...}

Hope you all have fabulous days!

kluvyoubye