Thursday, November 29, 2012

a cute way to announce your pregnancy

Thank you everyone for you sweet words of comfort in response to yesterday's post.  It's true that we had another miscarriage this week.  I was a lot farther a long this time.  Less than 24hours away from our first doctor appointment where I was supposed to be listening to a sweet heartbeat for the first time. Life is just really hard sometimes, ya know?  Why is it that people willing go through abortions every day and yet there's so many women who struggle with infertility or who have miscarriages?  

We really wanted this baby.  The baby's due date would have been Jeremy's birthday.  We were going to miss two family reunions, and we were sad about that, but you just can't be too sad about having a baby.  No matter when it comes.  

I had so many fun plans to tell our family at Christmas.  We'd started talking about different names and I was brainstorming ideas for a nursery/toddler room.  It's amazing how something so real can vanish right before your eyes. 

I promise I won't drag out the whole "I had a miscarriage, wah wah wah".  I'll always be sad about this baby, but several ugly cry sessions have made me feel quite a bit better and I keep reminding myself that Madeline was worth waiting for.  I did, however, want to show you the super cute picture I made to tell Jeremy that we were expecting.  Pretty cute, right?! I don't know how I'll top that with the next pregnancy....  I just had to write 'JULY' instead of 'Baby #2' so we can't use it again.  Oh well...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Precious Life
A tiny life created by love,
A beautiful miracle designed by God.
Your time with us was short, sweet spirit,
Too quickly you returned to Heaven above.

Great was the joy you brought to our lives
When we learned of your little existence.
We planned for your birth and dreamed of your life,
As a child of God in our home.

Such pain was heard though our midnight cries
As we watched your perfect body float lifeless.
We wanted you, we needed you,
And yet here we live on, without you.

Your tiny heart beat as hummingbird wings,
From deep within my frame.
And I learned what a special sweet spirit you are
As only a mother can.

Where are you now, my cherished, my baby?
Why have you left my arms empty?
What more could I have done to keep you here with me?
Why was your time here cut short?

Will I see you again? Will I hold you someday?
How I long to be your mother.
To cradle you, baby, to help you love life
And to look at your beautiful face.

Til we meet again in a more perfect world
Where our family again is complete,
I will think of you often, sweet child, my baby,
I will think of your precious life.

by Sarah Wells

Monday, November 26, 2012

we celebrated


We started Madeline's special day with a chorus of Happy Birthday.   She enjoyed waking up to both of her parents singing just for her as music is one of her favorite things these days.  I think she knew something was up when she saw the streamers hung in the living room and her breakfast all ready sitting on her tray.  Usually she has to beg for half an hour to get some morning grub.  And it's never been waffles with strawberries and whipped cream.  Yum.

After that we cleaned the house, packed our bags and headed out on a road trip that ended up taking an extra three hours thanks to DC holiday traffic.  Nothing says happy first birthday like being strapped in a car-seat for eight hours. 

Finally we made it to my Aunt and Uncles house where we shared in all the Thanksgiving festivities.  My cousin made the cutest little cake for Madeline and they had some presents all wrapped for her.  They really outdid themselves in more ways that one.  It was the perfect way to help her go to bed feeling loved.  

Happy Birthday sweet girl.  We love you so much! 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Happy Birthday to my beautiful little girl.  Hard to believe a year has come and gone, and yet I can't believe I haven't had your face etched in my memory forever.  You are such a blessing to our family, Madeline.  I love spending my days with you and even after long days I miss you while you sleep.  You are such a special daughter of God.  I can't wait to help you enjoy all of your birthdays still to come.   But here's to being one.  Here's to twenty-four hours of precious time dedicated as a celebration of your wonderful little life.  I love you sweet girl.


Monday, November 12, 2012

I sure love her little voice

We finally caught a little verbalization on video.  
Wish we could share all the fun things she's learning and doing.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

sneak peek into Santa's workshop

I feel the need to talk about how Christmas is so much more fun when you have a child who can actually get into it.  Sure she has no idea what's coming, who Santa is or why we'll wake her up good and early Christmas morning to open her stocking, but she'll enjoy it while it's happening a little bit more than this:
"Really, Mom?"

The past few weeks I've been giddy with sewing projects and home made gifts.  I've got some sort of sewing bug and it has made me SO HAPPY! Here's my latest project.... 
 Madeline standing next to the pattern :)
 I'll let you guess what it's going to be.... but I bet you can't even imagine how CUTE it's going to be!!!!

And lastly I leave you with a picture of the cutest little Christmas baby you ever did see. Why do they grow up so fast!? Baby fever? Yes. Pregnant? No. Hopefully in the next couple months :)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

dirty socks

Sorry to have been so MIA lately.  We've been keeping ourselves pretty busy around here.  After the flooding we had during Sandy our storage closet had to be cleaned out so all that stuff we've been trying to hide from ourselves is not-so-neatly stacked in our living room.  On top of that it's that time again to go through all of Madeline's clothes because the ones that are out are getting too small which means we should have ones that fit in big tubs that are unfortunately mixed together with all her little teeny baby clothes... Anyone know how to organize kids clothes?  It's so hard! If you have a system or method please share. 

Mostly I haven't been around because of the nasty-est cold that you ever did hear of.  Achey, chills, feverish-feeling, stuffy-runny nose, sore throat, cough, constant head ache nasty nasty nasty miserable cold.  I've got it the worst but I'm convinced Madeline doesn't feel great, either.  It's been almost a week since it set in on us.  No improvement.  blah.   Poor baby bumped her head before nap time and is teething with a cold.  She doesn't want to take a nap and even though I gave her tylenol just won't stop crying.  It's been that kind of a week.  {Can we acknowledge how great it is that this is the first time I've given her tylenol in a long time!?} Thankfully Jeremy hasn't caught it {yet} and hopefully it'll stay that way.  Bless his heart for putting up with us grumpy, sick girls.  I just sobbed on his shoulder when he got home from school yesterday.  

So other than cleaning and organizing and blowing and crying it's been your average week.

I'm guessing by this point your wondering why the heck I named this post ''dirty socks''.  I will explain. Lately everybody seems to be listing what they are grateful for, it being the wonderful month of November where we realize we've been greedy ungrateful people and decide to count our blessings. haha... just kidding... kind of.  Anyway, ever since we've been married the single most thing that has bothered me about Jeremy is he leaves his dirty socks EVERYWHERE! Just this morning I found a pair stuffed into the couch.  What the heck?  I find them sitting a foot from the dirty clothes basket, under the couch, under the table. everywhere.  It used to bother me a lot. 

A few weeks ago as I came upon yet another pair sitting on the floor one morning,  I realized that these wonderful smelly socks mean that there is someone in my life I get to pick up after.  I have a husband.  A wonderful husband who does almost everything perfect.  Sure he doesn't put his socks away, but that's ok.  Each time a I've found a pair since then a smile crosses my face because it reminds me how lucky I am to be married.  How grateful I am to have a loving husband.  I love that guy so much and I will pick up a million pairs of socks if it means I get to be married to him forever.

p.s. What do you think of my stocking inspiration?  I can't wait for Christmas!  It's possible that I broke out the Christmas music on Halloween... bad, I know.