a pre-birth story

Well it's high time I write down the birth story of our little mister. I think though we're going to need the "pre" story just like with Madeline. I have a lot to share... sorry :)

Luke was due on December 18, 2013, our third anniversary and the middle of Jeremy's finals week. Since Madeline had come five days early it never even crossed my mind that we might have one more Christmas as a family of three. I had spent the past several months daydreaming of snuggling with a brand new baby boy Christmas morning. Luke had a stocking (and lots to fill it with), Christmas jammies to match his daddy's, and presents under the tree from his grandparents. 

Leading up to his due date we didn't know if we should hope for him to come before finals week or after. Not that it really matters what you hope for, babies come when they want to, but it's hard not to imagine every possible scenario and dream and wonder and anticipate such an exciting event! But regardless, we KNEW we'd have a baby by Christmas...

I had dilated to a one a couple weeks before my due date, similar to where I was with Madeline, but then the weeks kept coming and the contractions weren't coming and it became clear he wouldn't be early.

His due date came and went, but we were still pretty sure he'd be here any day. On Monday the 23rd I had a midwife appointment and since I'd passed 40 weeks they sent me to the hospital downtown to have a routine ultrasound. They hooked me up to a monitor for about half an hour and I cannot tell you how disappointing it is to have NO contractions that entire time. Boo. So they scheduled me for another appointment on Thursday to do the same thing.

Then it was Christmas eve and I found myself just hoping and praying he wouldn't come Christmas day. I know people share their birthday with Christmas and it works out, but I really didn't want for him to go through that. We had a wonderful Christmas and a delicious dinner at a friends house, but the whole time I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm still pregnant!" It wasn't so much that I was (that) tired of being pregnant, if I had been under the impression I wasn't due for another two weeks I would have been fine, I was just SO CONVINCED he'd be early so I was kind of in shock that we were already to 41 weeks. But he didn't come on Christmas, and I can't tell you what a huge sigh of relief I let out at about 11:00 that night.

It came to our attention as the due date passed that there was in fact a chance he could come after the new year, which for insurance and tax purposes and wasn't gonna fly. At my last midwife appointment I had mentioned that I really wanted to be induced before the new year was upon us. They scheduled me to be induced 10:00 Saturday night.

The day after Christmas I went in for more monitoring. Everything was still fine and I had a couple slight contractions, but really nothing... I had kind of started accepting that I might in fact be induced. It was hard to accept that because I had big plans this time around for a natural birth and I didn't think I'd be able to handle all natural with pitocin strength contractions and not having the freedom to move like I wanted.

Friday night as Jeremy and I were cuddled up on the couch watching the West Wing (yes... yes I know...) I had a few of the strongest contractions I'd had so far. After one rather strong one Luke went crazy inside of me. He was kicking and punching and moving around like never before. We went to bed thinking about how nice it would be for him to come on his own, but our hopes weren't too high.

I had several contractions during the night but not close enough together to warrant much attention. Saturday morning we had a big list of things to do before going to the hospital that night. We cleaned and packed and showered and all the while my contractions started coming closer and closer together. Timing contractions is exhausting...

I texted our wonderful friends the Larsens (who were planning to come stay with Madeline that night so we could check into the hospital to be induced) just letting them know there might be a chance he was coming on his own and we'd need them sooner, but I was so stressed about being wrong... Maybe it's dumb of me, but that's the worse part for me. The 'when to go to the hospital' dilemma. Still the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I could walk and talk through most of them so we decided to take Madeline for a walk to the park. She'd been asking all morning and it was a beautiful day! Like Madeline was running around without a jacket.

Finally I decided we should at least head home and call the midwife. I gave her a call and we pretty much discussed everything I already knew. That I didn't want to come in too early but Madeline came pretty fast and we also didn't want Luke to be born in the car... It was about noon and she suggested we meet her at the hospital at 2:30 but to call her immediately if things picked up much more. She also agreed to start inducing me at 2:30 if it didn't seem as though I was in active labor. With that promise I felt good calling the Larsens to come over because that way if I wasn't in labor we wouldn't have to make the walk of shame home from the hospital just for a couple hours. So we gave them a call and they came over about 2:00. We showed them around, hugged and kissed sweet Madeline and headed off to the hospital. One way or another we were finally going to meet this baby boy!!!

Luke

Luke Jeremy Wells 

Born December 28, 2013 at 9:41pm

9lbs 0oz 20 3/4 inches long

If you can't tell, we're just a little bit smitten with him.

Merry Christmas 2013

Even if there were supposed to be two kids in the traditional Christmas jammie photos this year (ahem baby boy...) it was still a pretty great Christmas. 

jer & sah-yah

Madeline has recently come to the realization that Jeremy and I don't call each other mom/mommy & dad/daddy. So she's felt she has the liberty to call us Jer and Sah-yah the past couple days. Trust us, we've been making an effort to correct her newly developing habit, but it is pretty entertaining, and we have a hard time not smiling or even laughing when it happens. Had you been at our house yesterday you might have overheard a couple such conversations. I suppose there's often a conversation going on that could make anyone laugh, but these two in particular felt worthy of recording. 

First was when I was in the bathroom getting ready for church. Madeline was in her highchair eating breakfast and Jeremy was doing something in the kitchen. All of a sudden Madeline started yelling, "Where did Sah-yah go?! Sah-yah go?? Where's sah-yah!?" Finally Jeremy had to answer, "Mommy is in the bathroom, Madeline."

And then on the way home from church Madeline asked, "Jer, what time is it?" I could not hold in my laughter. First because she has no concept of time or what the answer would mean and second because she had so casually asked it. Jeremy just answered her, "It's 1:11 Madeline." And she simply responded with, "Oh, wow." 

How we love this little girl of ours! Madeline I can't believe I ever wanted you to stay a baby forever because life just keeps getting better the older you get. We love you!

Love,

Jer & Sah-yah

hey december, we like you.

^^Madeline wanted you to know she took this picture of her beloved snow all by herself ;)

We're pretty into taking pictures these days.

Despite the stress the holidays seem to bring and on top of that a busy husband who's trying hard to be prepared for finals week while constantly checking his phone for any sign his wife might be going into labor, it's been a good month so far. We were spoiled with almost a week of beautiful weather in which we didn't have to turn on the heat!!! Quite exciting for poor students :) And then the cold and snow came, but we don't mind too much because it's pretty magical the way Madeline can sit curled up on the window sill, quietly watching the snow fall. 

And of course who doesn't love extra excuses to be baking all the time. I know I'm loving it. Even if it's nearly impossible for me to have a picture with my daughter where we both look good... She's such a ham. 

Thank you December for truly being the "most wonderful time of the year". It's been a great couple of weeks so far and we're really looking forward to what else you have in store :) 39 weeks! Baby boy when are you going to get here?!?!

let it snow!

We were hit with the most unexpected little snowstorm yesterday (I wrote this Monday... oops). Unexpected for me, I should say. It was forecast, I just kind of ignored it/didn't take it seriously. When we got to church Sunday morning there wasn't a flake in the air and after there was a good three inches on the ground. Madeline was pretty uneasy about it driving home from church, but after her nap she wouldn't stop begging to go play in the snow! So her wonderful daddy took her out just before it was completely dark so she could experience the snow. She was so cold but didn't care. The only thing that got her inside was the bribe of a nice cup of hot chocolate.  Just look at those rosy cheeks! It was time to come in :) 

After Madeline went to bed we got to enjoy the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, one of my favorite December traditions. And even though it was a lot different than I was expecting, it was still good and I loved snuggling up with Jeremy and this bump of mine with the glow of the Christmas tree off in the corner. 

Such a wonderful evening. Such a wonderful time of the year.

Madeline's hat is from sprouttops.com. We absolutely love it, and the people who just recently started the company. You should check out their site. My niece is the adorable little girl on the home page.

Also, I have instagram... have I ever mentioned that? I need to get some sort of link or slideshow on the sidebar of the blog, but until then, feel free to follow along! There's a couple pictures of our snow day yesterday plus it'll probably be the first way we let the world know when our little Mr. gets here :) Any day now!

some thoughts on this pregnancy as it draws to a close...

I realize it could be another week or three before we're holding baby boy in our arms for the first time, but I've been thinking a lot about this pregnancy. Well obviously. It's hard not to think about pregnancy when your belly gets in the way of just about everything and you're in the bathroom every fifteen minutes because your bladder is officially the size of a marble... But aside from all that homestretch stuff, I've been thinking about how this pregnancy has been so much better than with Madeline's pregnancy. And that has nothing to do with her, I've been better this time around and it's made a huge difference! 

When I started my pregnancy with Madeline my mindset was totally off. I treated those nine months as a chance to put my feet up, eat whatever sounded good and twice what a normal person would eat because I was, "eating for two". Somewhere I heard early on that too much cardio was dangerous for the baby, (what the???) so I avoided exercise like the plague. Where do all these myths come from? I was an idiot to believe them. All of them. Poor Jeremy was my slave for those nine months because, "I was pregnant and he should have to do everything for me." Gah it makes me so angry thinking about it. Pregnancy isn't a disease. It isn't a time to have an excuse for everything. Definitely it's a time to be very aware of your body and it's limitations, and not a time to start pushing yourself further than you have before, but it's completely natural. Our bodies are made to do this. 

Needless to say I've been much better this time around. Sure I could have eaten better and exercise more often, but I've been so much better than before. It probably helps that I have another child I've been chasing around every day, but it's been more than that. My mindset has been different. I've been different. I've been happier and healthier. I haven't loathed every day of my third trimester, in fact I've really enjoyed it. At this point (38 weeks) with Madeline I was already trying everything I could to get labor going. I ate two pineapples at 37 weeks... I was miserable and ready to be done. But now I'm fine. I'm great! I actually have a ton of energy, I'm loving life, and sure I don't want to be pregnant forever, but I'm not counting down the days. 

Life is so much better when you're embracing life and living in the moment instead of looking ahead to what comes next. I'm happier when I'm busy and making healthy choices. How I hope I can remember these feelings with my next pregnancy... 

And if all that talk isn't enough to convince myself next time, these pictures ought to do the trick. Twenty pounds lighter this time around, from the same starting point. All the pictures were taken at 36 weeks. Pregnant with baby boy on the left and with Madeline on the right. 

grateful & blessed

Yesterday morning as I was unloading the dishwasher, I looked over and noticed Madeline quietly sitting on the couch with a pile of books around her; sweetly and quietly flipping through the pages of her favorite books. I thought about Jeremy in the next room, always willing to do anything us. I realized in less than a month we'll have another person in the house, another member of our family. Another person to love. And in that moment I was completely overcome with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. Tears welled up in my eyes and I just stood there in that moment being grateful.

I don't know how He managed to guide my life to where it is today, but I am so thankful that He did. I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm grateful for my little family. Grateful for Jeremy who works so hard, is (almost) always sporting a happy attitude and helps me to be better every single day. I'm grateful for the marriage we've built together and for how far we've come. Grateful for the covenants we've made together and for the opportunity we have to spend eternity together. I'm almost giddy when I think about what an awesome team we are now, after three years and then I think about us in ten years, fifty, a thousand and I'm so humbled by what a blessing marriage is. And eternal marriage in particular. 

I'm grateful for Madeline and her cheerful spirit. Grateful for the light that seems to shine out of her and brighten even the grayest day. I'm grateful for the privilege I've been given to be her mom. 

I'm grateful for the little boy inside of me. This little son of God who's been my constant companion the past eight months. Excited to meet him and to figure out how he fits into our new family of four.

I'm grateful for me. I realize that sounds selfish, and I don't mean it to come off that way, but I'm grateful for who I am. Grateful for the gifts and talents God has given me. Grateful to see how I'm growing and changing. I think back to just a year ago and I'm amazed by how much I've changed. Not in monumental ways, but little things. I probably couldn't even tell you how, but I feel different. I feel better. And I really like it. I'm grateful to be a daughter of God and grateful to be learning more about myself and God's plan for me. 

I'm grateful to be happy. Grateful to be so content with my life and where I am right now. Grateful for where we are as a family, still excited for all the good things to come, but I feel like we're living in the moment, and that makes me happy.

I have a lot to be grateful for, and my list could go on and on, but mostly I'm just grateful for the here and now. Grateful for this beautiful life I've been given and grateful for the people I get to share it with.

Madeline turned two, and then she turned back into her usual happy self, thank goodness

 She insisted on helping daddy cut the cake :)

We celebrated a very special birthday yesterday. Madeline turned TWO! For two years we’ve had this beautiful little girl in our lives. Hard to believe it’s been two years since we held her for the first time, and yet it’s strange to remember life without her. She has been such a ray of sunshine in our family since the day she was born on that cold November morning two years ago. Life has definitely been better since she came around.

Last year I had a hard time accepting her birthday. I was excited, of course, but it felt hard letting her grow up.  I was much more prepared emotionally for this birthday. I wasn’t letting my baby grow into a toddler this time, I was simply celebrating the little girl she is and looking forward to watching her grow for another year, and many more after that.

We had originally planned to have some friends over to help us sing and eat cake, but in the end we decided Madeline would probably just enjoy a special day dedicated to her with undivided attention from her parents. Especially with a baby coming in less than a month! Somehow I never changed the plans in my head from a four layer cake to share with a bunch of people to party of three, less cake. So we have lots of cake at our house if anyone wants to come get a slice or five. No really, if you're in the area and want a scrumptious cake, please let me know!

Jeremy and I stayed up late the night before her birthday to put up streamers and balloons, which she loved, hurray. But even with waffles, strawberries and whipped cream, fun decorations, having a friend come to play and us trying very hard to please her, it was a sad day for Miss Madeline. She woke up at 5:00am and she woke up TWO! Everyone who knows Madeline knows she is almost always happy. She's very easy going, she's flexible, she's just a really happy girl. But yesterday my heart broke again and again because she wasn't happy. It really scared me, too. You know how people say some kids hit the terrible two's on the day they turn two? I was convinced our little angel had become a tantrum throwing unhappy child overnight.  It was a really long day. I spent most of it fighting back tears (let's keep in mind I'm really pregnant) and just wanting to find some way to make her happy. 

Finally by late afternoon she had calmed down enough to devour her dinner (so glad I picked the right meal!) and enjoy her presents and cake. We finished off the night with a movie just the three of us, oh four if you include her new baby doll, curled up on the couch. And she went to bed happy. *sigh*

The day before her birthday was the first day in a week that she didn't have much of a fever and was finally starting to feel like herself again. So I've decided it was just a really bad culmination of all the emotions she's been containing the past week. She was ravenously hungry all day, cabin fever was probably a very real thing since she's hardly been outside in the past week, she's had way too much screen time thanks to the fever. That plus all the energy and stimulation of the day was probably just too much for her to handle. 

The great news is she woke up happy today. Very happy. And I'm so relieved to have our Madeline back. Maybe part of it has to do with the technology detox we started today?

I realize this is getting really long, but I did want to share some of what Madeline is learning and doing these days. First of all she TALKS! All day, non stop. Just says whatever's on her mind. Her vocabulary astounds me. And not only vocabulary, her comprehension, too. She's so smart! Maybe all kids her age are doing the same thing, but I think she's pretty stinkin' intelligent. We'll be reading a book and I'll think I need to explain something to her but before I do she's pointed it out and told me all about it. She's been counting for a couple months now, but we're still working on having the right order every time :) I introduced her to the alphabet last week and she already knows half of the ABC song. The first letter I taught her a couple weeks ago was "M" (M is for Madeline) and everywhere we go she points out M's on signs or in books. She loves singing. I'd have to say her favorite song right now is "twinkle twinkle". She just starts singing it at random times and  I love it. "I wonder.... I wonder... Like a triangle..." She knows most of her shapes, too, but diamond is kind of tricky..?  She's known her colors for a month or two and oh my goodness I can't tell you how much I love having her around! She's been climbing up all the tricky ladders at the park by our house. Scares me so much! I was a monkey when I was little, though, so I guess I deserve it.  

I think my favorite is watching her interact with other people. Sometimes she can be hit or miss, but most of the time she's got lots to say to them and isn't shy at all. We were at the midwife last month and as we were leaving she turned to the office staff and said, "Good bye, have a good day!" Just matter of factly, like that's what you do, no biggie.   She asks if we can go to the doctor at least once a day. She loves helping the midwife measure my belly, and knows how to push the button on the blood pressure cuff. She also has become quite the pro at identifying his little heartbeat. She's going to be such a great big sister!

The other night was our first night in the Bishop's Storehouse (our new calling) and it was just us and one other older man. A really nice guy, but not someone I'd expect her to buddy up with. Well she did, she was jabbering on to him about all her toys and asking him questions. Showing him her clementine and telling him to "come erh" (come here - I wish I could type it just like she says it because it's so cute) She order's us to "come erh" all the time and gestures with her little hand opening and closing. But she said it to him, and they went on a little adventure together. It paid off well for her to befriend him, too, because he gave her an ice cream at the end of the night :) I'm sure they'll be fast friends forever now.

Alrighty, this has become quite the novel, so many things I've wanted to share and record, though. I'm sure I still forgot half of what I'm hoping to remember, but at least we'll be able to remember some of this fun stage of life.

Dearest Madeline we love you! We are SO GLAD you are our daughter. So grateful we started our family when we did and so grateful it started with you. You are such a special daughter of God and I can't wait to see the marvelous things He has in store for you. I love you!

Love,

Mommy

And incase you missed them or care to reminisce with me, last year's celebrations can be found here, here and here.

pumpkins

I realize Halloween has passed, but we carved pumpkins with friends the week of Halloween and I didn't want to let our fun night go undocumented.