Nothing says I love you like...

Heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast.

Or any breakfast in Jeremy's case.  Poor guy 

needs a wife who feeds him... And I don't mean a new

wife! I just need to be better.

How do you show your husband you love him?

Confession: I have baby fever

First things first, I'd like to make sure that EVERYBODY

understands I am NOT pregnant again.

I'd also like to make it perfectly clear that we haven't

started planning when we want to have our second baby

and I don't know when we will

{our bank account is still recovering from Madeline}

But I would like to confess that I have baby fever.

I LOVED giving birth.  I loved the whole experience.

I loved holding Madeline for the first time.  And I've 

loved every second of the past three months.

In the past week or so it seems like half of the world

had a baby.  Ok not really... but that's what it feels like.

And then I saw these pictures taken by my 

good friend Alaina

{via}

Just after that I saw these pictures

{via}

And you know what - it's just too much for me to handle... 

so yes.  I admit it.  I've been thinking about babies a lot lately.

Really new babies to be exact.  And there's nothing wrong with that.

Right?  I guess I should also confess that I've found myself on

babyname websites more than once lately.... ssshhh..... don't tell Jeremy!

We really aren't ready at all to have another baby.  But I had no

idea I'd feel this way so soon.  Luckily I'm pretty good at conjuring up some 

memories of when I looked like a hippo  and that awful waiting game.

So I think I'm alright waiting a little while longer.

And I know Jeremy is.  Oh and our savings account wants

to wait too.  So no new baby too soon.

For now we'll just keep enjoying this bundle of joy

{the bundle of joy that's growing up way too fast}

p.s. When I was pregnant I really wanted to have Madeline's 

birth documented like the two pictures above. And I let

people talk me out of it.  And I really regret it... so if 

you're even considering it I say go for it! Because

I'm for sure not letting anyone talk me out of it again!

a week in spokane - part two

{If you didn't get a chance to read part one click here}

I'm kind of a sucker for surprises.  I'm be 

like a ten year old in that way.  So when we decided

I was going to fly home for a week, there was no question in my

mind, "I'M GOING TO SURPRISE EVERYBODY!" 

~

When we pulled up to our house, my dad answered the door.

He was the only one home and on the phone but 

very suprisedly exclaimed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" 

"We came to see you!", I said. 

His reaction was pretty good.  You couldn't wipe that smile off his

face to save his life.  It made us feel pretty special.  

Before I knew it he was on his hands and knees playing with Madeline

in the car seat.  My mom and two youngest sisters were due back soon

from a play group activity.  Peter was heading back to school (he can only

be so rebellious in one day) and my mom passed him on the driveway.

Needless to say she was VERY confused at why her perfect, school loving

son was at home during the middle of the day.  She rolled down her window to 

talk to him, but he just kept on driving.  The one thing he couldn't hid was 

the smile on his face too.  He was thinking, 'She has no idea what's waiting!'

Elizabeth, my youngest sister who is two years old, came in first, 

saw Madeline's car seat (Madeline and I were hiding in the next room),

and simply asked, "Is Madeline here?" 

My dad kind of ignored her, waiting for Emma and my mom to come in.

Pretty soon she tried again, "Where's Madeline?".  

Then my mom came in, saw the car seat and wondered to 

herself, "I wonder who's here?"  Madeline and I 

came out and she couldn't believe it! She may have been a little bit

speechless.  Mission accomplished.  Finally Emma came in.  It was 

her fifth birthday that day.  She came in and saw us and didn't really know what 

to say or do.  She warmed up pretty quickly though.  

We had lunch and worked on getting party decorations together. 

I helped make cupcakes and Emma and I drew some fairies.

{It was a fairy themed party}

Before I knew it Adam was home.  He saw me sitting at the

kitchen table with Emma and a big smile crossed his face.

He was glad to have his big sister and favorite niece

here for a week.   I thought it would be fun to pick the last

three of my family up from school. 

 {If you've lost count there's 9 kids including me.  

Christian already knew I was coming and didn't get home

til much later that night}.  

I pulled up to the carpool lane at the elementary school. 

I was a few minutes early, so I had plenty of time to wonder if 

I was in the best spot and if they'd know

where to find me.  Joshua, six, came up first.  He 

confidently walked up to the car until he realized Mom wasn't

driving the car.  He turned around, took a few steps, and then

stopped. I could tell he was thinking, 'That looked a lot like Sarah,

but Sarah lives in Utah....'  Eventually he turned around 

slowly re-approached the car.  He got in and with a very straight face

said, "What are you doing here?" I told him I had come to see him

and asked if he was surprised.  "No." Was his very cool six year old answer.

{I knew he was surprised but I didn't push it}.

Hannah and Rachel came to the car at the same time, and as 

soon as they saw me they broke out into a run.  They didn't

 try to hide their surprise/excitement like Joshua had.  haha.

That evening we celebrate Emma's fifth birthday!

Hard to believe that my little sister is five already! Happy Birthday Emma!

So glad I could come help celebrate!

p.s. Here's Emma's birthday tribute from last year

p.p.s. stay tuned for the part three of our trip!

3 months comes with laughter

I can't believe our little girl is 3 months old already!

Time is passing by so quickly, and yet I feel as though I've had this

little girl with me forever.  It's hard to remember back to when

I didn't have her with me every day. 

Madeline is a little charmer.  Everywhere we go she graces 

just about everybody with her beautiful smiles and sparkling eyes.

I've noticed her eyes are especially sparkly (spelling?) after her bath each night.

It's fun to see her developing her own little personality.

I love that she's so friendly and will {almost always} happily

go see anyone.  I think I love a little more than that, that I know

she prefers me just a wee bit more than everyone else.  

Kinda makes my lil mama heart go ''ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump"

She makes us strive to be better people and with her always watching

we're trying to filter what she hears and sees.

She can hold her head up exceptionally well for a three-month-old 

(or so I'm told), and one of her favorite things is stretching her legs,

standing on my lap and marching/tap dancing. 

 She could do it for hours if sleep didn't become a necessity 

after a while.  She also loves cooing and gooing.  

Talking and telling stories.  I love how serious she gets sometimes, 

telling me what must, in her mind, be the most important thing ever.  

I only wish I knew what she was trying to say.

The night before she and I left, I ran to the store to get some laundry detergent.

When I got back Jeremy announced that she just had her first laugh.

I was glad that she gave Jeremy a good memory before we left.

After trying for a while to pry another laugh from her that night, I gave up

trusting that her Grandpa Wells would be able to get one out of her 

on our trip.  And I was right! On Sunday night he got her laughing

for about five whole minutes.  It was so cute! 

Then, Tuesday night when we got back she unloaded a bunch 

of laughter for both of us.  Hope you enjoy!

{sorry we didn't get any laughs for you Fullmer Family.  Hope this will suffice}

a week in spokane - part one

This past Wednesday Madeline and I gave Jeremy a big 

hug and a couple kisses and boarded a plane headed to Spokane

 (two planes actually) to surprise our families for the week.  

Madeline was a dream on the first flight.

She slept though the whole thing.
We had a short layover in Denver that involved

THREE trips to the bathroom in less than ten minutes.
I felt like such an idiot walking to the bathroom then
back to the gate then back to the bathroom, etc. 

Oh well, I thought, at least now there's no way she's got 
any poop left in her, and we'll have a diaper-change free last flight. HA! 

She slept through take off in her car seat, then woke up to eat.

There were probably forty empty seats on the flight, but of course

some lady just had to sit by us.  gah.... She was really nice, but really?!

You felt the need to sit next to the new mom who obviously would have 

appreciated an empty seat next to her because she might need a 

place to change her baby or to maybe have privacy feeding her baby?

{apparently not}

So I'm feeding her, we've probably got another hour and fifteen minutes

left on the flight and I heard my least favorite noise in the world.

It's a little squirting sound and is often accompanied by a nasty smell.

It's no coincidence we call Madeline our "little pooper"

because she is good at it. Knowing the odds of her having a 

blow out while feeding her were pretty good, 

I kept my hand circulating her bum for any sign of leakage.  

Sure enough the leakage presented itself {it never fails}.

As quickly as my little mommy brain could, I devised a plan.

By this point the lady next to me was sound asleep,

I had no choice but to wake her up.
Ignoring the illuminated 'seatbelt sign', I scurried to the
 bathroom hoping with all my might that either
(a) there would be some sort of changing table or
(b) airplane bathrooms were bigger than I remembered.
Neither of those things were true.
Luckily I had a changing cloth that I spread across the toilet seat lid.
Madeline fit on the lid diagonally, but just barely.  It was close
enough that she was uncomfortable with her head being so
close to the edge.  She's a trooper though and didn't
start screaming.  She gave me a look that said,
"It's ok, mom.  I know you wouldn't ever do something so horrible to me
unless you had to and I love you, too.  We'll get through this."
And miraculously we did. She had only leaked a little bit, and I had a
ziplock bag to put her dirty clothes in.  I think the worst part was
making the walk-of-shame from the bathroom
 to my seat with a naked baby.
"Wait a minute, didn't you go into the
 bathroom with a fully clothed baby?"
Yes.  Yes I did.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful.  Madeline finished eating
and continued to thrill everyone with her heart breaking smiles.
I even managed to block out the rednecks behind me after a while.
Did you know it's possible to talk about BEER for an entire flight?
Yep.  Those kind guys behind me proved it.  Beer of all things.  Come on.
Oh except for a quick five minutes when they discussed a dog that
was a cross between a beagle and a chi wa wa..... nuff said.

Jeremy called the high school where my brothers go, impersonated my dad,
and got Peter excused from school to come pick us up from the airport.
Boy were we glad to see him!  I could hardly contain my excitement
the whole way home!  It was like Christmas morning.

aaaaaaaaand you'll just have to stay tuned to hear about the rest of our trip!

kluvyoubye

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not"

{February 17}

Today marks the one year anniversary of the baby we lost.

I had only been pregnant for a couple of days, but those couple

of days mattered and losing a baby is never easy.

I don't ever remember being in so much pain,

both physically and emotionally.  It was worse than giving birth.

Maybe because there was no reward or maybe it really was just that bad.

I've been thinking a lot about it the past few weeks, knowing it was coming

and wondering how I would feel.  That day replays so vividly in my mind.

Experiencing it was like watching myself from the corner of the room.

{you can read about my experience here}

I remember trying everything I could to escape the pain.

Screaming out for help, but no one came.

Blaming myself and yearning for an explanation.

What could possibly be doing this to my body? 

And why would Heavenly Father take away something

that had brought so much happiness to this newly formed family 

who not only wanted to start their family, but would strive to raise

them in a home filled with love and righteousness?

 Hours later I found a glimpse of peace when Jeremy got home. 

He held me tightly in his arms and finally I found sleep.

At the time I felt empty.

At the time I felt alone.

But one scripture repeatedly came to mind.

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not"

{Doctrine and Covenants 6:36}

I surrendered and trusted the Lord.

And you know what, He really did know what was best for us.

He had a plan for us that we could not then see.

One month later, to the day, we found out we were, again, expecting.

He knew we needed this beautiful girl to be the firstborn of our family.

He knew of her sweet spirit and the happiness she would bring.

I love Madeline more than I could ever describe.

The light she's filled our lives with is truly magical.

Today would be much harder with out her in my arms.

But it's still hard to think of the spirit we lost.

Hard not to wonder who they would have become.

 I know our Heavenly Father knows us each individually.

He knows what we need and He'll do what He thinks is best for us;

What will help us learn and grow so that we can return to live with Him.

How grateful I am for a God who isn't afraid of giving us trials, 

because with out them, we wouldn't appreciate the blessings He gives us.

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day Jeremy

The Best Way to Cook Dinner

I'm desperately trying to finish the third Hunger Games.  

It's hard finding time to read, and by the time I have time I'm 

pooped and ready for bed.  Jeremy is also very anxious for me to

finish so we can discuss this oh so surprising ending that everybody 

is talking about.  So while I was making dinner last night, Jeremy read to me.  

And it was delightful.

Madeline thought so too

Happy Weekending! 

My Two Favorite People

V-day Day Dreaming

If I had a million twenty dollars I know just where I'd spend it.

I keep envisioning a Valentines Day photo shoot of our family.

Partially inspired by this photo

{via}

But also this hot mama and her adorable family!

{via}

I'm kind of in love with her blog right now.

{Thank you pinterest for leading me to her}

Seriously, this maxi skirt - I might have just died and gone to heaven.

And her tutorial makes it look so easy!

{via}

So in my head, Jeremy's wearing his black pants, black suspenders over

a white shirt with an adorable red bow-tie. 

I'm sporting a homemade maxi skirt like above -

 I can't decide, but I think red....

A white shirt with a black cardigan.  Red beads, hair curled, and maybe,

just maybe some red lipstick.... Did I really just say that? yes I did.  

{you can pick up your jaw now mom}

I thought some pictures of lipstick on M's cheek and

 probably J's too would be just heart breaking.  

Madeline's wearing a pink skirt with a long sleeved white onesie

that I've cleverly stitched a big ole red heart on. Oh and of course 

a bow in her hair - pink? Maybe? 

Can't you just see the three of us.  

The cutest dang Valentine threesome you ever did see?

I can.

Plus then I'd get the chance to play with my new tripod again. 

{self-timer style - oh yeah}

But alas, we decided food kind of trumps homemade v-day costumes.

Maybe next year.

So instead we'll celebrate by heading over to Olive Garden

with a gift card we got after Madeline was born.

That is seriously the best ''new baby'' gift ever.

Just a chance to go out and get some real good food

with no dishes and no work.  

hip hip hurray!

Well enough of my daydreaming.  You'll all just have 

to believe that it would have been a SUPER cute picture or pictures.

kluvyoubye

four things i love

1. baby talk that melts my heart

2. wobbly legs doing little jigs on my legs

3. beautiful blue eyes that view this world with wonder

4. and smiles that tell me just how special I am to her

you know you're cool when...

you find a can full of all the notes you saved from the first 

year and a half of high school.

The hubby didn't think waiting three more years to open 

a mysterious time capsule was really justifiable.

Especially since we're you know, moving across the country in three months.

Don't worry, I wouldn't have let anything go un-decorated.

yep... stuffed to the brim.

I didn't read all of them.  I probably would have needed a 

middle-schooler to translate them all ha.

Complete with postage stamp!

Yep - I know what you're all thinking... WHAT A FREAK!

But wait - it gets better.... 

The icing on the cake is that I apparently had a pretty fantastic

dream one night and just had to save it!

Want to hear it? k.  But you can't hold this against me.

My Awesome Dream About Andrew Wagner

{no idea who Andrew Wagner is - and yes there actually is a title at the top of the page}

It was about 2:00 am.  I had all of a sudden woken up.  I was wondering why I had woken up when a loud tapping came from the window.  I got up and found that Andrew Wagner was on top of the sun porch trying to get my attention.  I went over and opened the window.  He said he needed some help with biology (it was Thursday morning of our biology class).  I told him to meet me on the front porch. While he was climbing down, I ran to my parents room and told them I was going outside to get some fresh air.  They turned off the alarm and I grabbed the phone (just incase) bahaha I was crazy... still am. I met Andrew at the porch and we hid in the bush, just big enough for two.  He showed me his worksheet, and I could tell he had erased some of the right answers! By the way all the exclamation points are the really cool ones that are an equilateral triangle with a dot at the bottom. I looked up only to see his face when he kissed me! I could have pulled away but instead I kissed him back! It was so romantic! It was a full moon, which was good so we could see some things.  We were about to kiss again, when we heard some voices.  At first I thought it was my parents, but it was some burglars about to break into my house.  I didn't know what to do.  Then I remembered the phone! I reached for it but it was gone! I asked Andrew but he was too busy kissing me! (ooooo, aaaaah!) Finally I slapped him and he gave me the phone and I started realizing what was happening! I dialed 911 and they said they'd send some cops.  Just as I thought all was going right, a burglar noticed us and shot right at me.  Andrew noticed him too, and jumped in front of me! When I realized he'd been shot, I tore my shirt and pressed some of it in his wound.  When the cops caught all the burglars I came out of hiding and told them we needed and ambulance for Andrew.  It came and he was ok! I went to see him in the hospital and he said he wanted to marry me! I said we were both too young and other reasons.  He asked what the other reasons were and I answered I'd tell him later.  He was disappointed, but I knew I was doing the right thing.  When I turned 16 we dated and he always respected my beliefs! (Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful!) Finally, after a lot of explaining, I invited him to Hannah's baptism, and then to church! He seemed to really like the church.  He convinced his parents to let him go to JCS (with me!) That was the school I was attending at the time. When it came time for us to be going to college, he told me he wanted to be baptized! I was so excited I couldn't believe it.  We both went off to college (I went to BYU) and when we got back he asked me to marry him! Of course I said YES! He also told me he was going to med school! I was excited but told him that it was a long process.  We were married in the SLC Temple and one year later we had a little girl of our own! We grew old together and everything was perfect! He also made me laugh a lot! ( I love that!)  Like my life will ever be that perfect, but oh well.  I'll keep dreaming! And ok, maybe I did make a lot of this up, but it was pretty cool! 

So if there was ever any doubt about my

 being a hopeless romantic you can rest easy.  I really am.

Well I think that's enough for one day.

Also, this can't be black mail because I put it 

on the internet all by myself.  

Just wanted to point that out.

kluvyoubye

we like our dinner dates cheap

And there's no better place to get some bang 

for your buck at 11:00 at night than the one and only

Sadly it's one of our favorite restaurants.... 

We've really been trying to break the habit, and we have been

a lot better this semester! First time last Saturday! Go us! 

We had worked hard all day, and didn't really have anything

to cook with, and so we did it.  We caved.

''Get my mama her food so I can go to bed!" 

{still teaching the hubby how to use the camera...}

the trinity - burger, fries and shake. 

attractive...

but wait, he gets even more attractive.

And it was so good.

Dear Blog

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for the lack

of attention I've given you the past week.

Actually I think it's been more than a week.

I still love you the way I always have, but I needed

a break.  My brain just went to shut off mode.

Not to mention it was a rather busy week.

Little Miss Madeline got her two month immunizations.

Poor baby handled it like a champ, but come bed time 

nothing could soothe her but a good ole dose of tylenol. 

{thank you tylenol}

We committed to going to

The University of Maryland School of Dentistry!

hip hip hurray! It feels so good to have 

a guaranteed plan for at least the next couple of years.

The dent the necessary deposit left in our banking account, 

however, doesn't feel quite as good.

For some reason deciding where we're moving

 means we need to start packing NOW.

Jer has been packing and cleaning non stop all weekend.

Is it sad that I just found out my husband has a teeny bit of OCD?

Apparently the way I pack boxes isn't acceptable.

We finished The hubby finished finished up our taxes!

HURRAY FOR TAX REFUNDS 

especially the ones they give you for having a baby!

Also, you'll be proud to hear I've started exercising!

I actually went for a run last monday morning at 6 o'clock in the morning.

And it felt really good! But the cold, dark, scariness has kept me from

making the trip through Wymount.  But I have been doing some 

fabulous kick butt cardio routines via hulu! go moi!

{Now if only the pounds would fall off a little bit faster...}

Madeline is getting cuter and cuter every.single.day.

She's getting much more interactive, so I guess that's

another reason you fell to the back burner.

That and I decided I'm happier when my kitchen is clean,

and that has strangely trumped my undying need to blog. ha.

Back to Madeline -- She loves having us help her stand, and she

is so proud of how well she holds her lil head up! 

She does lots and lots of talking, and notices when

you're sharing your attention with someone/something else.

I think her newest favorite thing is facing forward in the Bjorn.

She loves watching us do the dishes, and she was fascinated 

watching herself in the mirror while I curled my hair.

We're on the verge of laughter.  She's at the 

stage where she just opens her mouth in a big smile

but no noise comes out. It's killing me! 

She has let out a few chuckles of joy, like when

she's super hungry and she know's 

I'm about to feed her. It's pretty cute.  

SHE IS JUST SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT!

{pretty sure I say that like 5930573984 times a day} 

Well I think that about sums it up.

You'll be excited to know I have another post ready for you tomorrow!

much love,

Sarah